Blessed

Sometimes I shock myself with the amount of compassion I can feel.  I know I’m so blessed and maybe I’m just growing up and realizing how much I really have and how many people actually have nothing…  But lately I have such a heavy heart for people less fortunate than I am.

My family might be broken, but I can see a little neighbor girl’s family in pain and unraveling.  There’s nothing I can do for her (unless I suspect abuse, which I don’t yet) except pray.  I hear her cry many mornings when her mom screams at her to get her “f*cking boots on”.  Every morning this little girl has to go to school with tear stained cheeks, probably feeling alone and unloved.  I remember what it was like to have a parent on edge who yelled a lot.  Maybe that’s her situation, that will get better.  Maybe it will get worse.  I don’t know.  I don’t even know her name.  I know that I get teary when I think about her and hope someday I’ll be able to help her in a tangible way.

My finances might be in poor condition, but we are not poor.  We have so much.  This country has so much.  We wipe our asses with $5 bills and the people in Haiti live off $2 a day.  I am more upset that people have no compassion than I am for the Haitians.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m so sad for them.  I donated my $10 via the Red Cross and I think we will again – because really, $10 is the *very* least we can do.  What I cannot stand is when people get upset at celebrities for helping others.  So what if an actor chooses to donate their money to the cause of their choice?  What are YOU doing with your money?  No one can help everyone all the time.  I think it’s wonderful that people with a lot of money can help where they do, no matter their reasons.  Many US shelters are open because of donation, not because they are profitable.  I would like everyone whining about celebrity charities lacking National priorities (ie, they should be “fixing” US problems before aiding others) to reflect on who they have charitably donated to with their time and money.  If it’s no one, then maybe you should try living on $2 and see how you feel about poor countries then.

I might be unemployed, but I’m marketable.  This last year has been particularly rough on my family as there are several unemployed parents.  Parents with high level degrees, work experience and strong work history.  We all know they will find work again though.  There are those people though, who can’t hold down a job and who are struggling to feed their families and have no hope of working anytime soon.  I’m so grateful for my chance to be able to go to school and have a degree.  I’m so grateful for my working experiences.  They have given me opportunities for the career experience I need to get started in entry level writing jobs and they have given me excellent references.  I feel so sad for everyone who feels hopeless and like they are running out of options.  I could still become a career counselor I suppose… Again, there’s nothing I can really do for people except pray for them.  Which feels so trivial.  I want to donate all my time and money instead… and if I didn’t have a husband or need a job to pay growing bills, I might be able to do all three.

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