It was a beautiful, warm and breezy day today. A day that I spent holed up in the university library furiously researching cross-cultural color terms and writing a paper. My reward for my hard work was going to be an early Subway dinner in the park with my husband, to enjoy the last few hours of sunlight.
We arrived with our food and found a nice grassy spot far enough away from a family picnic to enjoy some quiet but close enough to the woods for scenery. Halfway through the meal, one of the guys from the family picnic near-by walked passed us on his way into the woods. I thought it was weird, but I’m not familiar with the park, so maybe there was a building or bubbler back there. He heads back to the picnic and I joke to my husband, ‘Maybe he just peed in the woods!’ I was kidding, of course. It was still day light, there were a lot of people around, and the woods are sparse and quite see-through.
Then about ten minutes later, a middle aged woman walked back to the same area in the woods. I knew it couldn’t be woodland-urination because ladies just don’t behave like that. Especially middle aged ones in cute outfits. Since we couldn’t see the previous guy or this woman after they got to a certain point in the woods, we really had no idea what they were up to and we wouldn’t find out until we actually got up.
The woman emerged from the woods adjusting her clothing, which was a good indicator that she had just gone to the bathroom there. I was a little shocked. I didn’t think people actually did that with an actual bathroom (and other people!) so close!
We joked about calling the police. If there was an anonymous texting feature for the local police, we probably would have done that. That family is lucky! They would have had three fines coming their way. Oh yes, there was a third. The third time, a guy walked into the woods, but not as far as the others… Had we wanted to, we could have watched him – he was that close. It was appalling.
I guess park woods are the new bathroom stalls.