I think 2 things are very brave*. (1) Marriage and (2) Not settling.
Yes, another post about being married. As our 1st Anniversary approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it really means to be married and how much I love it and the things I don’t like.
Choosing to permanently tolerate the worst of someone because you love their best is a brave decision. Key word: permanently. I heard someone say once that for “better or for worse” doesn’t mean “for better or until someone screws up” (maybe I even made that one up!). I knew what I was getting into when I got married and even in Year 1, there were some times I wouldn’t have minded a do-over with someone new. But backing out when it’s not pretty isn’t brave… it’s completely the opposite. Forging ahead together when life is ugly is just as brave to me, as something cliche like being a solider or firefighter. They don’t get to pick and choose the “good” parts of their job, why should a couple (or one of them) get to choose only the “good” parts to stick around for?
The other side of that is choosing not to settle for just anyone. Dating doesn’t have to be a super serious venture all the time. Even in adulthood, I don’t think it’s necessary to foresee possible marriage with every single person you go out with. But it’s definitely cowardice to be with someone just because they make your life less lonely. No one NEEDS someone else to be a whole person. We are all whole people, alone. The brave choice is to be single until someone worth your time comes along. They are the one that should take up your time&energy. Time&energy shouldn’t be wasted on someone you will obviously never have a future with (either because you know you won’t want to, or because it doesn’t look promising). Being brave and not settling could apply to anything, really. But in today’s economy I’m not going to say that you should hold out for a dream job when McDonald’s wants to hire you. Use your head people!
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.
*This idea has been sparked by: